Closing

I am closing this blog.
My heart have been found and fixed.
But still needs to be filled with love.

The Love Tank

Tank is my heart
heart that have been healed,
and ready to be full again
full of happiness and love

As our lives move forward from here,
I can only say that our happiness in this new relationship will fill up the tank...

I hope this will be the last time my heart will be broken.

It Feels So Right

The feeling of love is inevitable,
It's there I can feel it,

Being with him feels so right.

It's not rushed.

The feeling of being happy.

Not just happy because I finally know who I am and what I want in life,
but being happy and sharing that happiness with someone who truly cares about you.

When he says different,
it's really different.
It's so different.
It's so right!

Baby Mama Drama

Dating a guy with a child or children,
can be tough...

Am I ready to take-in this type of relationship.
A relationship where it involves a kid,
this is a lot of responsibility,
it involves the kid and the mother,
the ex-wife, the mother of the kid,
which I don't care if I say it over and over,
but I have to be involve,
I hope I don't have to be,
Well at some point, she might have to meet me,
because she needs to know who the other woman taking care of her daughter (hypothetically speaking, in the future)
I have to consider all these things that can go on...
I mean, am I capable of taking in a kid in my life,
for the rest of my life,

I am not the only woman in his life,
He had a kid with another person...

Then he said this,
"just to let you know, if we do make it official I promise to take care of you in every situation. I will stick up for all the time and make sure you are always ok. I will promise to make you feel special every day. you will never ever feel like the 3rd wheel. You will be the woman of my heart. I promise you that. I will protect you and make you feel comfortable in every situation. You have my word"

I hope there's no baby mama drama...

It's not official yet,
I'm not going to say that my heart is fixed and healed and that he found it,

I'm just considering all my options,
I'm still thinking,

I just don't want to rush in to things, because I'm still scared.
He's scared too.
I know he likes me and sees me in his future.

I hope what he said is right...

I hope he's the one...

Only Time

Not going to rush this one,

Last year was so fast that we didn't really took the time to really get to know each other.

This year is even better.

This year we will take it day by day,

Time will tell us, when it's the right time to be together officially.

We're not going to rush.

We both know what's it like before, and as long as we're on the same page,
it will happen.

Thinking It Over

Reading my blog from Broken, Broken Part II and my blogs this year,
I realized how I didn't know how to be happy.

I was in relationships, but wasn't really happy.
Dating, but still wasn't happy.
I didn't know how to be happy with someone.
Spending time with them,
knowing them,
I wasn't really happy.

The idea of having a boyfriend/significant other/partner was great.
But was I happy?
I was pleasing them,
I was thinking too much on how not to screw things up,
I was scared that I was going to screw it up,
I wasn't happy.

I jumped in to relationship not thinking.

Thinking it over and over in my head,
why didn't it work out with any of them?

Because I didn't know myself,
I didn't know how to make myself happy.
I was thinking over in my head how to be perfect for them.

They say happiness is the key,
They are right,
Being happy isn't about making the other person happy,
It's by making yourself happy.
you're happy,
they're happy.

Love doesn't just come from "oh I like you, you like me, let's be together...etc"
Love comes from being happy together

Knowing the real meaning of being happy and being in love all at the same time.

Taking my time this whole year,
growing and learning on what I want in a guy,
makes me really happy.

I'm glad that I found myself happy with me,
with him.
I didn't know how to be "me" the real me,
until now.
I don't have to try and make him happy.
I'm happy,
he's happy.

Learning and knowing the happiness of being in a relationship is a great feeling to have.
I don't have to think it over,
I know what I want now.
I don't have to think too much of anything.

I'm just happy being me.

Fight

The fight you're willing to go through,
The fight to have your heart whole again,

Is it worth to have?
Is it worth to fight for love?

Love doesn't just come when you want it,
Love comes from someone worth fighting for it,
Love comes from that someone making your life happy,

you fight for that love to come back to you,

go through that struggle of breaking the barrier, that wall
fighting that wall, fighting to get to that mountain just to find my heart

What do you do when someone is willing to fight for your love,
willing to find your heart,
willing to fight with all the other guys out there trying to steel my heart,
willing to have you in their life?

Fight for that endless love,
Fight for the love you want to have,

Fight to heal that broken heart,
Fight that fear away.

There's hope for love...

The Holidays

It's that time of the year.
Single-dating, whatever

I know people who are single,
we do not want to be alone during the holidays.

Yet my holidays are different.
I have to be alone, for the sake of my heart.

Thanksgiving especially is bad luck for me.
I only hope that my bad luck will end soon,

Looking back at every blog that I have, they all started in December,
because every bad love-relationship experience ended during Thanksgiving weekend or 2-3 weeks after.

Yeah I know it's the holidays,
but if I want to protect my heart and my feelings,
and protect their feelings and their hearts,
I must stay away.

Limit, distance until after.

I don't want to push him away.

No official boyfriend until after the holidays.

I'm still scared.