Only Time

Not going to rush this one,

Last year was so fast that we didn't really took the time to really get to know each other.

This year is even better.

This year we will take it day by day,

Time will tell us, when it's the right time to be together officially.

We're not going to rush.

We both know what's it like before, and as long as we're on the same page,
it will happen.

Thinking It Over

Reading my blog from Broken, Broken Part II and my blogs this year,
I realized how I didn't know how to be happy.

I was in relationships, but wasn't really happy.
Dating, but still wasn't happy.
I didn't know how to be happy with someone.
Spending time with them,
knowing them,
I wasn't really happy.

The idea of having a boyfriend/significant other/partner was great.
But was I happy?
I was pleasing them,
I was thinking too much on how not to screw things up,
I was scared that I was going to screw it up,
I wasn't happy.

I jumped in to relationship not thinking.

Thinking it over and over in my head,
why didn't it work out with any of them?

Because I didn't know myself,
I didn't know how to make myself happy.
I was thinking over in my head how to be perfect for them.

They say happiness is the key,
They are right,
Being happy isn't about making the other person happy,
It's by making yourself happy.
you're happy,
they're happy.

Love doesn't just come from "oh I like you, you like me, let's be together...etc"
Love comes from being happy together

Knowing the real meaning of being happy and being in love all at the same time.

Taking my time this whole year,
growing and learning on what I want in a guy,
makes me really happy.

I'm glad that I found myself happy with me,
with him.
I didn't know how to be "me" the real me,
until now.
I don't have to try and make him happy.
I'm happy,
he's happy.

Learning and knowing the happiness of being in a relationship is a great feeling to have.
I don't have to think it over,
I know what I want now.
I don't have to think too much of anything.

I'm just happy being me.

Fight

The fight you're willing to go through,
The fight to have your heart whole again,

Is it worth to have?
Is it worth to fight for love?

Love doesn't just come when you want it,
Love comes from someone worth fighting for it,
Love comes from that someone making your life happy,

you fight for that love to come back to you,

go through that struggle of breaking the barrier, that wall
fighting that wall, fighting to get to that mountain just to find my heart

What do you do when someone is willing to fight for your love,
willing to find your heart,
willing to fight with all the other guys out there trying to steel my heart,
willing to have you in their life?

Fight for that endless love,
Fight for the love you want to have,

Fight to heal that broken heart,
Fight that fear away.

There's hope for love...

The Holidays

It's that time of the year.
Single-dating, whatever

I know people who are single,
we do not want to be alone during the holidays.

Yet my holidays are different.
I have to be alone, for the sake of my heart.

Thanksgiving especially is bad luck for me.
I only hope that my bad luck will end soon,

Looking back at every blog that I have, they all started in December,
because every bad love-relationship experience ended during Thanksgiving weekend or 2-3 weeks after.

Yeah I know it's the holidays,
but if I want to protect my heart and my feelings,
and protect their feelings and their hearts,
I must stay away.

Limit, distance until after.

I don't want to push him away.

No official boyfriend until after the holidays.

I'm still scared.

Persistence

Something to look for in a guy.
Persistence

You don't want some guy to like you, and then when you're not ready they move on to the next one.
You want someone who's persistent with you. He will love you, like you, no matter the time.

Someone who has the patience to want to be with you, to take the time and effort to love you.

I am saying this because it's taking me awhile to feel what that real love "feeling."


Love was taken from me,
thought it wasn't going to ever come back.

Slowly but surely it will.

This guy,
taking his time,
he really likes me...

I gave him time,
I gave me time,

Then is now,
Now he's still falling for me.

Persistence.

On the Indian Rock

As I sit on this big rock looking at the bay,
The last time I was here I was in a relationship.
Just turned 29...
Almost the end of the year,
I'm single.
Dated a few blokes... they were nice, but an asshole

Good for my sisters tho,
They found someone who appreciates them,
Someone who will take care of them
It's so easy for them...

I Chose Love Over Anything

No matter how much I liked having sex with him,
I ended it.
It was fun while it lasted,
He doesn't see us being in a relationship together (what a douche aka asshole)
But then again,
He is right,
Like I said to myself, if you close your eyes and asked yourself,
"Do I see him in my future?" "Will this work?"
Answer: No
Because I want more.

I want the compassionate love,
I want that unconditional love,
the happy love

I think we all prefer that.
We all want to be happy with that person we are with.